We Are Adopting!

We have just begun our adoption journey and are excited to share it with our friends and families! We've had lots of questions and want to keep you all as much up to date as possible. I'll try to answer any questions you have!


We are applying to the domestic infant program with Bethany Christian, so we're hoping to get a baby from the United States. While the Bethany offices are nationwide, each office does it's own thing, so more than likely we'll get a baby from South Dakota, although there is a chance we could adopt from Minnesota or Iowa. I'm partial to Minnesota, but I'll keep an open mind:)


We've just begun the paperwork process. Nate's sister Jen said that someone she knew called adoption a "paperwork pregnancy". I like the description! We had to submit fingerprints to the FBI for background checks and that is what takes the longest, probably 8 weeks. In the meantime, we are working on the rest of our paperwork. We need references, annual physicals, family histories, financial statements just to name a few. Hopefully that will all be done and we'll hear back from the FBI that we aren't criminals! If it all goes smoothly, that should be done mid-January.


The next step is the homestudy. Our social worker, Melissa, will meet with us first at our home. How cool is it that we have a social worker? Aren't they the best:) She'll interview us together at our house. Then the next visit is separate interviews at the Bethany Office. Nate and I will each be interviewed by Melissa and we can't talk or see each other in between. I have nothing to hide, but it makes me nervous that we can't talk in between! After that we'll meet again at our house. She promised she's not looking for how clean our house is, but I have a feeling I'll clean like crazy anyway. I guess they have safety requirements that they have to check for...distance between rails on the railing, water temperature, etc. All the interviews have to be one week apart and then another week for writing the report, so that process will take at least 4 weeks.


SO after all of that, we'll breathe a huge sigh of relief and begin "the wait"! Again, if all goes well, we should be completed with everything by the end of February and they can begin to show our profile book to expectant mothers. We're working on a book on Shutterfly right now. I've never taken so many pictures of myself!


Just a little bit about the way Bethany does the next step...expectant mothers wait until they are at least 7 months pregnant before they can identify a family for their baby. This is because Bethany stops showing our profile once someone has identified us, and if she would change her mind they don't want our profile to not have been shown for months. Another big part...expectant moms don't "choose" a family, they "consider" a family. That may seem picky, but there are a lot of technical terms. We actually have a pamphlet on "Accurate Adoption Language"...more on that another day. Anyway, Bethany does not want a mother to feel any pressure when the baby is born to give the baby up. Correction already... "make an adoption plan" is the accurate term. So they say a family is being "considered". This really means that this is the only family being considered, but that it isn't final. Once the baby is born, the mom has a few days to rethink her decision and make sure she wants to go through with the adoption plan. At this point, she signs papers giving custody of the baby to Bethany. Bethany then gives the baby to the couple, (us!) entrusting the child to their care. 5-10 days after the baby is born, the birth mom petitions the court for a 'termination of parental rights' hearing. This occurs about 30 days after the baby is born, and then rights of the birth parents are legally terminated. So during this time there is always a chance that the birth parents could change their mind. That is why Bethany does things the way they do...by giving her time to reconsider her decision after the baby is born, there is much less chance that she will change her mind. I don't think that happens often, but I need to be realistic that it does happen. 6 months after the baby is born, we can go to court to legalize the adoption!


I know that's a ton of information. I'm new to blogging, but I promise they won't always be this long! There is SO much information to share. I feel like I was pretty familiar with the adoption process and there was still so much for me to learn!


We are so thankful for supportive friends and family to walk with us on this journey. I know it came as a surprise to most people since we hadn't shared our infertility struggles, but we are excited to be able share this with you now. Thanks so much for your kind words of encouragement and prayers.

Heather