three weeks old!

Andrew is 3 weeks old this week and is doing wonderful! He eats all the time and loves to be held. Because we're working on the attachment piece of adoption, Nate and I have been the only ones to hold him so far. I'm not just making that up because I'm a baby-hog! It's a well-known fact that young babies recognize their moms because they've spent 9 months hearing their heartbeat, voice, etc. We obviously didn't get that with Andrew, so now is an extremely important time for us to bond with him and for him to learn who we are. At some point we'll slowly start letting others hold him, preferably when he's sleeping. They even suggested having him in a blanket that smells like us so he still has that familiar scent. We'll continue being the only ones that feed him or change him. It's a lot to learn, but his attachment is so important to us that it's all worth it. So you may think we're crazy for holding him all the time, but I don't care:)
 
Andrew's birth mom had her court date today, which means she had to go before the judge and acknowledge that she for sure wanted to terminate her parental rights. For us, this means that the legal risk period is over and Andrew is for sure home to stay! We've found that this is a very bittersweet moment for us. We're obviously happy that there's no question that Andrew will be with us forever. However, we're also very sad for Andrew's birth mom, as we know this was a really hard day for her. It's hard to be overjoyed at something you know is causing someone else pain. And yet out of her incredible love for her son, she's willing to go through this pain so he can have a better life. We didn't realize how much love and compassion we would feel for her until now. 

Before we began our adoption journey, I didn't like the idea of "sharing" my children with another mom. I wanted to be the only one they call Mom and not have anyone else be able to claim that name. And yet now I see it all so differently. As a mother, think about the love that you have for your children. As a child, think about how wonderful it feels to be loved by a mother. And Andrew has that times two! How blessed is he to have two mothers and two fathers that love him! Sometimes I've noticed people call Andrew's birth mom "mom" and then quickly back track to say "birth mom" instead. I know they don't want to offend me and I appreciate the concern. But I can honestly say that it doesn't bother me in the least bit. Andrew does have and always will have two moms. Sometimes it's easy to think that birth moms don't want their children or make adoption plans because they don't care. I think that's so wrong to assume! Our birth mom loves Andrew so much and we could see that just radiate from her when we met. She knew she wasn't in a place to provide a stable home for him, so out of her incredible love, she gave him to a family who could provide that. She is so selfless! She is an incredible person and I am honored to share the title of Mom with her. 

And of course, here's a few pictures! I know some of you skipped everything I just wrote to see them:)

Heather