update...or lack of?

I don’t have anything new to share regarding our adoption process. It’s hard to think of it as a process sometimes when it doesn’t seem like anything is happening! I recently talked to our social worker to update our family service plan. It was basically “nothing has changed with us and yep we still want to do this”! She did say that things are unusually quiet around the Bethany office right now and there just aren’t a lot of moms making adoption plans at this time. That was actually a relief to know! I’d rather know that there aren’t many people looking at our book rather than think that tons of people are looking and no one likes us! So for now, we’re just continuing to pray and trust God’s timing.

The other day I was at a children’s dental office and I watched a mom check in her 13 or 14 year old daughter, who was very pregnant. The daughter was also holding hands with her same age boyfriend, hat on backwards and his shorts hanging far below his waistline. I couldn’t help but watch them and think “how the heck are you two going to raise that baby”? Okay to be honest my first thought was “I wonder if they are looking for an adoptive family for that baby”? Don’t judge me! My mind goes straight to adoption! As I continued to watch this couple (I did attempt to be subtle), it was too easy to think about how unfair the situation was and to feel sorry for myself. They were so young and obviously not in a place to have a child, but they’re pregnant. Nate and I feel like we are so ready for a family, yet that just isn’t happening. And it’s SO easy to think life isn’t fair!

 

And then I realized that life really isn’t fair and no one ever promised that it would be. Later that day I drove by a woman in a wheelchair, struggling to cross the street with her lap piled high with groceries. I was on my way home to go for a long run…life isn’t fair to that woman. I hear stories about people my age losing all their hair because of the chemotherapy they are going through to fight cancer…life isn’t fair. A college classmate recently passed away because of medical complications after a miscarriage…life isn’t fair! People are struggling every day with mental illness, physical disabilities, disease, abuse, neglect, homelessness…life really isn’t fair. 

It doesn’t take long for me to look at my life and see the abundant blessings I have been given. I have an incredible husband, who loves me unconditionally and works so hard to provide for us. I have an incredible family, who supports me in so many ways. I have a house that keeps me cool in this incredible heat wave we’ve been having. I buy groceries without worrying about having enough money to pay for them. I am healthy and can go for a run anytime I want. I have a great job working with children who can be such a blessing. I am a member of church where we have met wonderful people who share our faith. But most of all I have a faithful God who walks beside me every day and carries me when I don’t have the strength to walk on my own. I have been given SO much and it would be shame to only focus on what I’m missing. Having said that, I don't want to minimize the pain of infertility or difficulty of waiting for an adoption plan to happen. For anyone experiencing this, it IS a very real trial and my heart goes out to you. I have just prayed for God to help me bear my own burdens in such a way that I can still be a blessing to others, even in the midst of trials.  

I can’t wait for the day we get the call that our baby is ready for us to take home. But until that day, I will continue to focus on the blessings I receive every single day.

Heather